dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
