Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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