Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
