Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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