do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I am available for nakedness
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
