pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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