Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
