I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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