Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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