You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
