We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
