Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Are we still banned from the library?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
