i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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