I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
