so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
