Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
