maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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