before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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