Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
