So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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