Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
