It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
