I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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