Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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