So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
