I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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