sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
