my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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