She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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