That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
