he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
