You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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