After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
