There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
