You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think im going to throw up on grandma
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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