If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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