You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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