I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
