no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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