I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
