my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
