How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
