i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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