It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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