For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
