If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
