i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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