She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
