Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
