just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
