she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
