ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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