its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
